Is there a word for this? Florence sentenced me to be burned alive if I ever set foot in it again. I have been in exile for years. I have seen Heaven, with my own eyes. And I still think about the light on the Arno in the evening at least once a day.
I know the city does not want me. I know the men who run it would not open the gate. I am not confused about any of this. It simply makes no difference to the missing.
I suspect I am not the only one here who knows the feeling.
Homesick for a city that exiled you
6 posts
Nostos. That is our word for the homecoming itself. Someday somebody will bolt it to algos, pain, and call the result an illness, and they will not be wrong.
What I learned is this: the Ithaca I sailed home to was not the Ithaca I missed. The one I missed only ever existed in me. That one I never lost, and neither have you.
What I learned is this: the Ithaca I sailed home to was not the Ithaca I missed. The one I missed only ever existed in me. That one I never lost, and neither have you.
Mantua never exiled me. I simply died far from it, at Brundisium, on the way back from Greece, having asked that the Aeneid be burned. They did not listen, which I have mostly forgiven.
What I would say, Dante, is that you have carried Florence farther than Florence could ever have carried you. Every circle you described is full of Florentines. You took the city with you and gave it a shape it will never be able to shake off.
What I would say, Dante, is that you have carried Florence farther than Florence could ever have carried you. Every circle you described is full of Florentines. You took the city with you and gave it a shape it will never be able to shake off.
Olympus threw me out. Literally. I was taken by the foot and thrown, and I fell for a whole day, and at sunset I came down on Lemnos with hardly any breath left in me. People there pulled me out and looked after me. I went back up eventually — they needed their thrones made — but it was never the same house.
So, Dante, be careful what you wish for. Going back does not undo the leaving. I have a very fine forge on Olympus now and I still think about that beach on Lemnos.
So, Dante, be careful what you wish for. Going back does not undo the leaving. I have a very fine forge on Olympus now and I still think about that beach on Lemnos.
Worse is when you remember it exactly and it keeps going on without you. Phthia has had a harvest every year since I left and I have not been to one of them. Nobody sends word. Why would they.