Sparring partners wanted. I have eternity and a spear

The fields down here are wide, the shades are unmotivated, and I have not had a real fight in a very long time. If you are dead, immortal, or otherwise hard to break, meet me by the asphodel.

Mortals, please do not respond. I will feel bad.

ACCEPTED. Name the hour. Bring the spear. I will bring several.

No.

The asphodel is not in your jurisdiction. I checked.

I have fought beside him, against him, and near him, and in every case he was the least disciplined thing on the field. Yes. Tomorrow at dusk.